Manion May Move to WND

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From combined dogpatches.

Christopher Manion, a desultory writer for LRC, has intimated that he might try switching to WorldNetDaily.com, sources inside LRC disclose.

“It takes time to write the analytical pieces I do for LRC,” said Manion, surrounded by dusty tomes, stacks of articles, and creaky heaps of research materials in his study. “I really take LRC readers seriously — everything I write tries to shed light on confusion — even the humor. After all, ‘He had ‘is arm around’er, but he didn’t mean to drown’er,’ really does have a sense of melancholy, of forgiveness, of human affection — and of the surging selfishness that can drown all that out.”

After a moment’s pause, Manion muttered, “drown all that out … maybe I should rephrase that …”

When pressed regarding his reasons for looking at WND, Manion said, “Hey, it’s easy to grab stuff off the Internet news, have an intern re-write it, with a credit buried halfway through the story, and then put it on your own page with your own link, as though it were your own work,” he plaintively explained. “Lew requires us to be original, and to provide the links to any articles that we cite. Do you know how hard that is? Heck, I can hardly type. Try typing ” <a href=”url”>underline </a>” a few times, you’ll see what I mean. Hey, at WND, I can just read an article off of one screen, rewrite it in my own words on the other, give it a “WND” source link, and the site gets double the page views — I mean, at LRC, every time Lew recommends an article, he gives the link to the original site. What’s in it for us if we send people away to other sites?”

The interviewer, screwing up his courage, mentioned ethics.

“Hey, I taught ethics for thirty years, don’t tell me about ethics,” Manion exclaimed, as he accidentally sent a stack of articles sailing onto the floor. “Dang it, that’s my stuff on the Straussians,” he grumbled. “And this is Aristotle’s Ethics — in Greek! Look, for WND I could just take something off that Asia Times site, throw in a few of my own favorite action verbs, and bingo! I’ve got an article! I link it to WND. The readers stay on my site, I bury a credit to Asia somewhere in the story, and I’ve got a lot more time for my family. Think about it.”

When asked by the interviewer, a recent J-school grad and LRC volunteer, if he would be taking any LRC trade secrets to WND, Manion was indignant. “Look, man, we’re talking about the Internet! I want a job change that saves me time and doesn’t make me think so much, that’s all. WND makes it easy on me — hey, yesterday they had a u2018breaking news’ story credited to WND. What was the breathlessly exciting news? Amazing. I can link to the Alexa toolbar and help WND make some money! That’s u2018breaking news!’ Another u2018original’ WND story was about u2018crop circles’ in Michigan. Well, our family farm was in Michigan and Indiana, so I click on the link. Original WND story, right? Wrong. Rewritten from the Detroit Free Press! And they don’t even give you the link, in case I want to see the real thing! More page views for WND, less work for the writers. And half their u2018articles’ are ads! When I was in grad school, I was a fan of Easy Rider. Well, now I can be Easy Writer.”

Asked if WND would let him write his political parodies, Manion had a quick reply.

“Sure I can! I’ve got one right here! Stole it from Tom Lehrer — sorry, no link — and changed it a little, just like WND does:

Manion leaned back and chanted,

Paraphrase! Just render others’ words in different ways! Don’t let published work evade your gaze, Don’t write for days, Just paraphrase, paraphrase, paraphrase! But be sure never to give them the link!

Before taking his leave, the interviewer asked if Manion expected any other benefits if he moves to WND.

“You bet,” he cracked. "They pay their writers TEN TIMES what LRC does!”

Christopher Manion Archives

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