Top Secret Nation

Yes, the Bush Administration wants to know all of our personal details, from the books we read, to the obviously seditious emails we send, while stonewalling all information about its own doings, including the creation of an unelected “shadow government,” and its roadblocking of the 9/11 inquiry. But it isn’t Bush’s backstairs style we’re talking about here. What makes George Bush’s America the “Top Secret” Nation is its incarnation of the Communist/Nazi government in the 1984 (!) Val Kilmer comedy.

Kilmer, as American rock star Nick Rivers, travels to East Germany to sing his hit songs at a state-sponsored cultural festival. Little does he know that the conniving East Germans plan to use the festival as a cover to unleash their secret plan to conquer the world. However, Nick falls in love with a German beauty named Hillary, whose father has been forced to create a super-magnet that will destroy the NATO submarine fleet. With the aid of a British secret agent (Omar Shariff), the two lovers manage to save Hillary’s father and stop the East Germans. “Top Secret” is a riotous send-up of Elvis movies and World War II mythology, complete with French (yes, French) Underground guerilla fighters named LaTrine, Déjà Vu, and Chocolate Mousse, who is portrayed, of course, by a black actor.

“Top Secret” features an expansionist government that’s successfully blended Communism and Nazism. The chief villain in the movie, General Streck, keeps fit with exercise routines from “Hermann Goering’s Workout Book,” whose cover features a Goering look-alike in black uniform with his legs splayed in the air Jane-Fonda style. The regime’s goal is world domination through military conquest, but it’s for a noble ideal. You could even call its intentions “Benevolent Global Hegemony.” Its citizens enjoy material prosperity and security, but know that disloyalty will be punished severely, as their national anthem reminds them:

“Hail, hail East Germany! Land of fruit and grape Land where you’ll regret it If you ever try to escape …”

Bush has brought the movie’s East German regime to life, though without the laughs. Here in Dubya’s USA, it’s also a good idea to flaunt your loyalty. After 9/11, one can never be too rich, too thin, or fly too many US flags. John Ashcroft may be watching. The Neo-Cons grasp the importance of blurring the distinction between patriotism and obedience to the Ruling Class. Thus, any who question the government’s actions will be denounced as disloyal. As David Horowitz so bluntly put it, “When your country is attacked there can be no such thing as an ‘anti-war’ movement. Protesters against America’s war on terror are not peaceniks, they are America-haters and saboteurs, and they should be treated as such.” That settles that.

Besides, who couldn’t embrace the noble ideals that make us Americans what we are? Like the Communist East Germans, the US promotes a benevolent, universalist philosophy. We congratulate ourselves for that philosophy on Loyalty Day, which just happens to be the same day of the year as the old Communist May Day. In his Loyalty Day proclamation, Bush stressed cosmopolitanism as a cardinal virtue: “To be an American is not a matter of blood or birth. Our citizens are bound by ideals that represent the hope of all mankind: that all men are created equal, endowed with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. On Loyalty Day, we reaffirm our allegiance to our country and resolve to uphold the vision of our Forefathers.” On the latest Loyalty Day, Bush’s PR team taped him addressing cheering servicemen aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, named after the president who re-invented the US as a “Proposition Nation.” Neither Eisenstein nor Riefenstahl mastered historic symbolism as well.

So, by blending the most successful components of the 20th century’s most formidable dictatorships, the Neo-Cons have crafted a potent political pastiche. With Communist egalitarianism and Nazi economics, Neo-Conism avoids the flaws (racism, planned economy) while appropriating the strengths (universalism, mercantilism, and really good citizen surveillance) of both totalitarian systems. Combining the world’s largest economy and the world’s noblest ideals, Bush’s USA is the most powerful force the planet has ever seen. Unfortunately, the story line of the real “Top Secret” regime is not rated as a comedy.

May 17, 2003

Michael C. Tuggle [send him mail] is a project manager and e-commerce consultant in Charlotte, NC. His first book, Confederates in the Boardroom, explores the implications of organizational science on political systems, and will be published by Traveller Press in June, 2003.