It's alright if I call you Bill, isn't it? That's how you signed the letter you sent me last week, though I noticed a different penmanship on the address. No matter; you're awful busy these days with Americans for Victory over Terrorism, so your assistants probably have to pull in the slack. It's all good, bro.
I appreciate your magnanimity in keeping me on the mailing list, what with all the nasty things I've said about you over the last few months. Y'know, mocking your insufferable pomposity, comparing you to the East German police, stuff like that. I'm a high-strung lad, so it's good to know you have a sense of humor. Besides, it's not like your site would have any hits if I didn't link to it so often!
Anyway, I'm still impressed by this letter that you mass-mailed to your "fellow Americans." As you so movingly wrote,
It used to be the case that children in this country were brought up to revere its institutions and values, to identify with its customs and traditions, to take pride in its extraordinary achievements, and to venerate its national symbols.
Couldn't agree more, Bill. These radicals who have erased the wisdom of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, etc., from the public consciousness should be pilloried. You're dead-on when you say that "they can't distinguish good from evil at all." If you don't mind, I'll just quote the results of your undocumented poll to make my case.
37% of the students said they would be likely to evade a draft were it reinstituted. . . .
You mean that 63% of youngsters in the land of the free would submit to slavery? Disgusting!
21% of students would be willing to serve, but only if stationed in the U.S. . . .
How many would leave this country to fight for another?
You've got me riled-up now. I desperately want to "help re-establish a moral compass [nice plug] for America." I know it's not just flattery when you call me "better-informed and more widely read than the average citizen." Thank goodness you sent me this survey so I can vent my frustrations.
Have you personally noticed a rise in moral relativism during your lifetime – that is, an unwillingness to define anything as good or evil?
Yes! As recently as the late 1980s, most Americans still thought it wrong to murder Arabs.
Do you believe it is important for colleges and universities to require students to study American history?
Yes! Then they might know what our Founders thought about interventionism.
What's this at the end of the letter? A contributions form? That's a rather crass comedown from this high-minded tizzy you put me in. Still, I'd love to help. Will you accept Iraqi dinars?
All the best,
Matt Barganier
April 28, 2003
