Dear Mr. Bennett

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It's
alright if I call you Bill, isn't it? That's how you signed the
letter you sent me last week, though I noticed a different penmanship
on the address. No matter; you're awful busy these days with Americans
for Victory over Terrorism
, so your assistants probably have
to pull in the slack. It's all good, bro.

I
appreciate your magnanimity in keeping me on the mailing
list
, what with all the nasty things I've said about you over
the last few months. Y'know, mocking
your insufferable pomposity
, comparing
you to the East German police
, stuff like that. I'm a high-strung
lad, so it's good to know you have a sense of humor. Besides, it's
not like your site would
have any hits
if I didn't link to it so often!

Anyway,
I'm still impressed by this letter that you mass-mailed to your
"fellow Americans." As you so movingly wrote,

It
used to be the case that children in this country were brought up
to revere its institutions and values, to identify with its customs
and traditions, to take pride in its extraordinary achievements,
and to venerate its national symbols.

Couldn't
agree more, Bill. These radicals who have erased the wisdom of George
Washington
, Thomas
Jefferson
, John
Quincy Adams
, etc., from the public consciousness should be
pilloried. You're dead-on when you say that "they can't distinguish
good from evil at all." If you don't mind, I'll just quote
the results of your undocumented poll to make my case.

37%
of the students said they would be likely to evade a draft were
it reinstituted. . . .

You
mean that 63% of youngsters in the land of the free would submit
to slavery? Disgusting!

21%
of students would be willing to serve, but only if stationed in
the U.S. . . .

How
many would leave this country to fight for another?

You've
got me riled-up now. I desperately want to "help re-establish
a moral compass [nice
plug
] for America." I know it's not just flattery when
you call me "better-informed and more widely read than the
average citizen." Thank goodness you sent me this survey so
I can vent my frustrations.

Have
you personally noticed a rise in moral relativism during your lifetime – that
is, an unwillingness to define anything as good or evil?

Yes!
As recently as the late 1980s, most Americans still thought it wrong
to murder Arabs.

Do
you believe it is important for colleges and universities to require
students to study American history?

Yes!
Then they might know what our Founders thought about interventionism.

What's
this at the end of the letter? A contributions form? That's a rather
crass comedown from this high-minded tizzy you put me in. Still,
I'd love to help. Will you accept Iraqi dinars?

All
the best,

Matt
Barganier

April
28, 2003

Matt
Barganier [send him mail]
is a teacher in Baton Rouge, LA.


     

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