The
neocon warmongerer's club is tough, hawkish and smart. Members are
long-lived survivors, and they don't take any crap, whether from
dissenters within the party, citizens who just don't know any better
than to keep their traps shut, the media who better get in line
or else, and small countries who have something we need at the moment.

They
have their own military, as long as no one refuses, calls the New
York Times, becomes a conscientious objector or resigns their commissions.
They have their own White House, as long as Congress and the people
stay frightened of their self-righteous rages and lively verbal
assaults.

But
with all this outer toughness, I feel it is only fair to expose
the softer side of the neocon jungle. I mean, who can fault their
benevolent good wishes for all mankind, to be free, to be democratic,
be converted to evangelical Christianity, and get good minimum-wage
paying jobs working for extraordinarily well-connected American
corporations?

We
should all be as lucky as the Iraqis! Come on, Rumsfeld is right
— freedom
is untidy!

And
so far, the neocons do seem to be enjoying the mess they have made.
More cake, anyone? Yes, of course we didn't bring enough troops
to Iraq to secure the innocent Iraqi civilians we came here to liberate.
Oh, liberation, such a lovely word, just rolls off the tongue …and
dear, what did you put in these meringues? They simply melt in your
mouth!

You
know, isn't it awful about those people, what they did to their
own museums and libraries and archives… but how could we have prevented
something like that? I mean, it wasn't like we'd been planning this
war for the last several years, and pre-emptive doesn't mean we
are all-knowing gods! Mmmm, these meatballs are delish! Dick, did
you bring these? You better lock up your cook, because Honey, I'm
going to steal him away!

Pre-emptive
war for oil control, budget increases and Israeli security wasn't
all it was, you know. Dear old Donald had a point to make about
a few things. I mean he always had a thing about senior military
officers just trying to slow him down — remember back under Jerry
Ford? Rummy didn't have a prayer, what with him being so young and
ambitious, but now, he stuck it to the Army didn't he? He did it
light and lean, fast and mean. Seriously, what are a few old artifacts
and books and hospitals, the Iraqis should have preserved that stuff
themselves if they wanted it. If they didn't, that was their choice.
It's not our fault!

Oh
look! Richard's here! And Paul — hey, you boys are looking good!
Rested and ready for another round, if you know what I mean, huh?
Richard — did you bring one of your soufflés? I'll simply
kill you if you didn't! Darling, what's next? Oh, don't worry your
pretty head about some silly Palestinian state — that is not going
to happen in our lifetimes!

George!
You're here! All's right with this party!

These
people have led us smiling and winking to an unnecessary war, alienated
old friends at home and abroad, destroyed tens of thousands of lives
and livelihoods with high tech weapons and the messy aftermath in
both Iraq and Afghanistan, and created for the United States of
America one of the most expensive and despised governments on the
planet — but these people have a caring side too.

They
care about staying in power, they care about keeping Israel's militaristic
socialism propped up without reforms for a few more years, they
care about stock options and ensuring guaranteed high-yield government
income. Any investment counselor will advise that the older you
are, the less risk you should take with your portfolio, hence cost-plus
for Halliburton, Bechtel, and the rest of the team. And you know
something — they care overwhelmingly, as some people are apt to
do, about what other people think of them! I think Richard Perle's
amazing little Defense Policy Board Chair resignation letter
proves this point perfectly.

Now,
George W. Bush doesn't listen to or care what people think, he doesn't
watch much TV or read the papers. Rove and Cheney keep that boy
straight. But the rest of them unleash their mouthpieces — Kristol
and Krauthammer, Frum and Goldberg, Schlesinger and Schultz, if
you can wade through it all — at the first sign of criticism.

The
American Conservative — a slim little voice in the wilderness
— scared the stuffing out of these straw men. The emergent compellingly
logical voice of both the left and the right frightens them back
into the parlor for another glass of wine as they consult.

The
neo-conservative philosophy is hateful to humanity, anti-American,
statist and anti-free trade. Oh, I forgot — now that we control
the oil contracts, NOW we want Iraq sanctions lifted, and immediately?
Even though the sanction rules we were supposedly enforcing require
a final UN inspector's report of good health? No time, no time!
There's money to be made! How contemptuous of the free market, and
yesterday's reason for the invasion of Iraq!

The
politically powerful people who hold this philosophy are actually
very vulnerable. They fear exposure of their false god: a neo-Genghis
Khan, or Universal Ruler, wearing a cowboy hat, legs wrapped around
a MOAB.
They fear moral and ethical challenges, they fear losing the party
and the next election. Their souls are hollow — having only read
about losses of life, or home and hearth, or livelihood, of children
and siblings in unnecessary wars. Like the books from the Iraqi
National Archives this week, burnt to ash, crumbling
to dust at a single touch, so will go the neocons, ultimately
into the dustbin.

Last
time someone told a seething mob outside the gates to have some
more cake, the newly liberated and democratic hordes brought out
the guillotine. It solved the cake problem, but that's not always
the best solution, and we aren't a mob. The key to getting our country
back is to listen to exactly what the neocons are saying, and respond
accordingly, without fear, knowing that there is a constant clear
difference between quiet, rock-solid truth and noisy mistaken error.

April
19, 2003

Karen
Kwiatkowski [send her mail]
is a recently retired USAF lieutenant colonel, who spent her final
four and a half years in uniform working at the Pentagon. She now
lives with her freedom-loving family in the Shenandoah Valley.