Don't Mess Around With Lew

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Well, DC’s got its hustlers, NR’s got its bums,
But Auburn Alabama’s got Big Lew Rockwell, a straight-shootin’ son of a gun
Now Frum’s as dumb as a man can come and his ego’s really outta sight,
But when Lew and his crew do what they do you know the folks’ll see the light,
And that’s all right,
And they say,
You don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
N’Scrap the Constitution too
You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Lew,
(Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum)

Well, to Auburn Alabama came a neo-con
Said, "I’m lookin’ for a guy named Lew
I’ve come down south ’cause he bad-mouthed
My boys at National Review,
He thinks we’re a bunch of Manichees, I mean, he don’t even like the Iraq war.
He quotes von Mises, cuts us all to pieces,
Even worse, he says that I’m a bore,
I’m gonna give’im what for,
And they said,
You don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
N’Scrap the Constitution too
You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Lew,
(Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum)

Well, a hush fell over the seminar,
Lew picked up his favorite chalk,
And he drew and drew, till that boy turned blue
You shoulda heard Rockwell talk,
He talked about the price of freedom,
And the dangers of the neo-power drive
And he told that boy, our country’s not a toy,
For you to try to talk and jive.
Man alive!
And they sang it,
Don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
N’Scrap the Constitution too
You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Lew.
(Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum).

Well that neo-con was agitated, now, he waved his finger in the air,
He was screamin’ ’bout power, and the lateness of the hour, dang, the man was on a tear,
He Said, "next we gotta take out Iran ‘n North Korea, and let’s talk about bringin’ back the draft
And what if China nukes North Carolina,"
And they all leaned back and laughed,
Well, they just laughed,
And they sang it,
Don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
N’Scrap the Constitution too
You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Lew
(Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum).

Well the moral to my story’s kinda easy, I mean, unless you’re plumb insane
Whatever comes, ya don’t let those Frums anesthetize your brain
Don’t give up on believin’, after all, you know, you gotta keep’a keepin up the fight
Just work and pray, and you know some day all the people gonna see the light,
And that’s all right.
(pause)
Read lewrockewell.com
(pause)
Don’t drop the bomb.
Because (you know) you don’t spit on Washington’s grave, (no never)
N’you don’t scrap the Constitution too (no sir)
And you don’t make America the Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Lew,
Da da da da da — da da Frum! Frum!

Christopher Manion [send him mail] writes from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. A founding member of the Capitol Steps political satire group, he has written and performed songs at testimonials for Dan Quayle, Al Haig, Jesse Helms, Warren Rudman, Lawton Chiles, Vernon Walters, William F. Buckley, Jr., and Paul Weyrich. Teddy Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, Joycelyn Elders, and Manuel Noreiga have unfortunately been unable to hear their songs performed in person.

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