'Here's the Outrage' (to the tune of, 'On the Road Again')

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News Item: "Bob Dole and Bill Clinton will face off on 60 Minutes for ten weeks. Each will receive a million dollars, or slightly more than a dollar a word."

Bob Dole again,
We’ve gotta watch that stupid grin again,
He just looked helpless when he let Bill Clinton win,
But now we’re stuck with ol’ Bob Dole again

Bob Dole again,
To trot him out seems like a mortal sin,
A neon sign that says, "Republicans can’t win"
They’ll shove it up ol’ Bob Dole’s nose again

(chorus)

Bob Dole again,
‘Cause he’s the country’s favorite zero,
He’s the ol’ has-been
Who makes Bill look like a hero
And not a Nero

Bob Dole again,
We’ll watch Slick Willie wipe the floor with him,
They’re just reminding us that freedom’s hopes are dim,
Resuscitating ol’ Bob Dole again

Dan Rather’s friend
On the same channel, will it ever end
He’ll ask Bill Clinton "How far over should I bend,"
We’ll watch him blow away Bob Dole again

(Chorus)

Taxes and ADA,
He put us on a leftward vector
Ol’ Viagra Bob,
He was the Welfare State’s erector,
He’s worse than Specter,

Bob Dole again,
They’re draggin bottom if they reel him in
Even a million couldn’t bring a good man in,
So CBS revived Bob Dole again.

Bob Dole again,
He’ll make us go and hide our heads again
He’ll make us think it’s worse than it has ever been,
That’s why they’ve dug up ol’ Bob Dole again

We’ll be so outraged we’ll drive off the road and then
We’ll wish we’d never seen Bob Dole again

Christopher Manion [send him mail] writes from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. He avoids Maryland whenever possible.

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