You Can Have My New SUV When You Peel My Cold, Dead Hands Off Its Leather Steering Wheel

We're all well aware of the left-wing anti-car prudes, and their campaign to drive those off us who enjoy big, powerful Sport Utility Vehicles off of their subsidized roads.

Arianna Huffington, the one-time neoconservative, now a trendy leftist, has given up her days driving around in limos and flying in private jets in order to tool around – in front of TV cameras – in an embarrassing little gas/electric hybrid vehicle with the acceleration of a Yugo.

“The sales deck is clearly stacked in favor of Detroit's beloved behemoths, with billions being spent on SUV advertising and ever-more tempting marketing come-ons, like GM's u2018Zero, Zero, Zero' program which was introduced in December and offered no-interest financing on 13 of its SUVs for up to 60 months – very tempting in these tough times,” she harrumphed in one of her recent, and painful to read, columns. Huffington is helping an ad campaign promote the theme that driving an SUV is the equivalent of supporting Osama bin Laden and terrorism

That's right, an Expedition today and a Weapon of Mass Destruction tomorrow. I'm not surprised that Huffington, who has lived the life of a rich social climber after marrying a man who inherited millions, knows so little about markets. Yes, companies make vehicles, and they – get this – advertise those vehicles to people who might want them. People are tempted to buy them and the company makes profits and the workers do too.

What an outrage.

Well, Huffington can have my 4,500-lb. bright blue Isuzu Axiom, with its 17-inch wheels and 230 foot-pounds of torque (I don't really know what that means, but the vehicle moves like stink when I push the accelerator) when she peels my fingers off the two-toned leather steering wheel.

Did Huffington and her trendy friends ever think about why many people like to drive SUVs? I know, it's not something that quickly comes to their minds. Let's see. It's called children. Yes, some of us have them, multiple numbers even. When we go places, we like to take them with us, and we like them to be comfortable so they don't complain the whole trip.

Try that in a Honda Civic.

Often we take our big, smelly dog with us, and it's nice if he can sit way back there, rather than on our laps. I think it's illegal to strap dogs to the roof rack or to stick them in the trunk in one of those little sedans. Now I know Huffington can hire servants to do this for her, but some of us actually drive our vehicles to places named Home Depot, Costco, Albertson's and Wal-Mart, and fill them with stuff, and it's nice to have seats that fold down so we can fit all that stuff inside the vehicle.

Many people, my wife in particular, like to sit a little higher than in a tiny car, so they can see the road ahead of them with greater ease. Others like the idea that if they get in an accident, they at least have a sporting chance of leaving the vehicle with all internal organs still functioning properly.

And one other thing, SUVs look pretty nice, with their flared fenders, big wheels, stylish interiors and gobs of freeway-merging horsepower. That's why most people prefer them to anemic minivans and station wagons.

In a supposedly free country, shouldn't individual Americans be free to make such choices?

Now, finally, for the point of my tirade.

It's bad enough that we have to put up with the Enviro-Prigs, but some good, solid free-market people are dissing the glorious Detroit auto show, such as Gary North in his LewRockwell.com article on Thursday about buying used cars. I'm a free-market guy, so if North wants to drive around in a 12-year-old Chrysler minivan, that's his business. He's absolutely right that it's wise to shop for bargains and to avoid extravagances if one wants to increase one's net worth. But he's forgetting a few practical and not-so-practical points about the joys of new vehicles.

  1. Safety: Old cars break down more than newer ones, which increases the chances that my family will find itself in a dangerous situation. People die frequently on the LA-area freeways when they stall in traffic. Fast car meets stopped car equals death and maiming. Worse yet, some people in stalled vehicles try to get out of them and get hit by motorists who don't see them. My solution is to drive newer cars that are more reliable.

  2. Convenience: Mr. North might not mind taking his old beater to seven different repair shops to get estimates, but I have more productive and fun things to do with my limited time on Earth.

  3. Predictability in one's budget: North is right that keeping an old car together with bubble gum always is cheaper than taking a depreciation hit on newer cars. But I've tried the new and old car routes. I prefer budgeting $300 a month on a late-model car, which requires few additional expenses beyond routine maintenance, than to have no payment, but have those $1,200 transmission bills crop up unexpectedly and sap my savings.

  4. Comfort: That's got to be worth something. Southern California traffic is a breeze with the CD on, the air conditioning humming, and the power seat adjusted just so. It's almost enough to make one forget what a nightmare this state is turning into.

  5. Cars are fun: That, too, is worth something. Driving around in something that screams “powerful” or “fun” is a rebuke to the Puritans who run around insisting that anything that isn't done in the name of Mother Earth is evil. That's a big part of the creativity and energy that goes into the car shows, including those outrageous vehicles – i.e., a Maserati SUV – that North complains about.

By all means, one should only drive what one can afford. Getting upside-down in a car loan isn't good financially. If a car is running well, it's ridiculous to trade it in. One ought to think about productive investments before sinking too much money into some ridiculously high-priced vehicle.

But despite that, new (or late model used) cars aren't necessarily a bad investment when one considers the whole picture, and if one is willing to shop carefully. Plus there's that certain joy in driving down the freeway in a nice, late-model SUV knowing that its mere existence is a huge annoyance to the modern-day Puritans who want to tell us how to live.

January 18, 2003

Steven Greenhut (send him mail) is a senior editorial writer and columnist for the Orange County Register in Santa Ana, Calif.