Who
can forget the good old days when an angry mob pelted Richard Nixon
with rotten eggs in Caracas? Or when Edgar Bergen quipped that he'd
been stoned more times than an American embassy? When the rallying
cry of the rest of the world was "Yankee Go Home"?

Now
that the future of America (and the world) is in the hands of a
band of religious crackpots who use the word "evil" with
alarming regularity to justify their own political, military, and
diplomatic illiteracy, there is only one justifiable universal response:
"Yankee Go Home!"

The
slogan of a by-gone era of American grandiosity, it has a certain
ring of validity today, as George W. Bush, supremely confident that
he has been chosen by God to rid the world of evil, jogs forth to
save us from Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lebanon, North Korea,
and a host of other countries. Bolstered by a nut case from the
Rand Corporation who is an associate of that perennial paranoid,
Lyndon Larouche, telling us, at the behest of warmonger Richard
Perle, that Saudi Arabia is a "kernel of evil" and our
mortal enemy, Bush has no doubt about his mission – to save
us all by blowing us all up.

But
there is an out. Suppose everyone simply told America, "Thanks,
but no thanks." It's starting to happen. Even Israel is beginning
to sit up and take notice, uneasy with the unholy alliance Ariel
Sharon has entered into with the lunatic fringe who believe the
Jews will all become Protestants once the heathens have been routed
by military might.

The
leader of this odd coalition of the Anti-Defamation League and the
wacky, self-appointed God squad is none other than Ralph Reed, GOP
and Enron whiz bang consultant, Christian Coalition leader, and
chairman of the Republican Party of Georgia. Does that take your
breath away or what?

Into
this insanity has entered the mayor of Haifa, Amram Mitzna, a retired
major general who is seeking the leadership of Israel's Labor Party.
He openly says America is wrong to tell the Palestinians who their
leaders should be and insists that peace talks begin immediately,
with Israel pulling out of all the occupied territories. Could he
go a step further and say Israel should ask the United States to
phase out its aid, so Israel can become a legitimate Middle Eastern
country and not an extension of DC? It could happen.

As
we fold up our tents and march off into the sunset, one can hear
the sigh of relief emanating from Cairo to Karachi, from Bogotá
to Bombay. And George W. Bush can leave Washington to take up permanent
residence in Crawford, Texas, where he can jog to his heart's content,
knowing that he did his best to wreck the world.

August
17, 2002

Richard
Cummings [send
him mail] is a playwright, novelist, and international
lawyer. He went home ages ago, but is still a member of the Association
of Former Intelligence Officers.