The Soviets Won...Didn't They?

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by Michael Peirce

America's population died in their millions from the noxious chemicals and deadly bacterial weapons wielded by the Soviet aggressors. Our cities lie in ruins, devastated by nuclear missiles. Our leaders were shot down in the streets by Spesnatz (special forces) troopers who sneaked across our flimsy borders and armed themselves from pre-established arms caches. The former United States of America had faced off against an enemy sworn to "bury us" and we failed to act.

No, America did not launch an all out war against the most evil and heavily armed adversary ever to threaten world peace. Not only had they declared their intent to spread their insidious dictatorship of the proletariat across the planet, they threatened Israel and actively supported the PLO and other terrorist groups, even to the point of training them on Russian soil at Patrice Lumumba University outside Moscow. We all know that this is a bombing offense for sure, yet somehow we failed to bomb them!

Now, our once great country lies in ruins; the survivors eke out a dreadful existence as slaves under the lash of the Soviet conquerors. Right? Well, yeah — that's what happened, surely.

How can I say this? It's obvious. During the Cold War we failed utterly to ban all our personal firearms — people even carried them on airplanes! Our airport security was hardly up to the standards declared to be necessary by our current crop of War Leaders. We neglected to send our soldiers into battle against the Soviets when they invaded Hungary, Czechoslovakia, and Poland. To our credit we did at least defend our own southern border, unlike our modern policy of "come one come all."

There was no TIPS program so there was no possible way to inform on Soviet agents. We failed to restrict freedom of speech and the FBI was virtually asleep at the wheel. They failed to shut down even one brothel — which recent events have shown us, can be an important element in the war on terrorism. They did however, catch a spy or two once in a while.

People even smoked cigarettes in bars and there was no sex education.

Worst of all, we had denied ourselves the supposed advantage of diversity. In the darkest days of the Cold War, we insisted upon retaining our cultural unity and required immigrants to assimilate rather than linger in their former national identity. No wonder we were defeated.

The Soviets really did have thousands of nukes, tons of bacterial agents, and enough nerve gas to spray mankind like ants confronted by an irate housewife with a can of Raid. Yet did we bomb them, invade them or as many are clamoring for today, nuke them? Even when Russian pilots committed the unforgivable sin (to the neocons anyway) of flying fighter jets against Israel as "volunteers" for Egypt, we held back. (Although Nixon did have the 82nd Airborne Division sitting in their transport planes at that point.)

There is a point to all this nonsense. For most of my adult life, I lived in the shadow of Soviet nuclear weapons. I participated in the air raid drills as a child, worried about conscription, and thought my number was up during the Cuban missile crisis. I came of age like so many others in the shadow of the proxy war in Vietnam. My father tested the weapons that were to be used to stop the flood of Soviet tanks through the Fulda Gap. Ultimately I was myself nearly killed by Russian-made tanks in another of the proxy wars, in Africa. This was a real threat; we Americans were not blameless, but we had every reason to be concerned.

Why then, are we not living out the scenario I presented? One about which we were warned so often. The fact that we faced such a threat without throwing our freedoms at the feet of the politicians should shout a warning to the neoconservative armchair warriors who tremble in fear because some ludicrous types are purported to be devising exploding light bulbs! Condition "yellow" indeed — I will say for the record that the day I live in fear of those Arabian posers will be a very cold day indeed. Yet our make believe leaders pretend that they are such a threat as to make the former Soviets seem pale in comparison.

The question that we, the American people, should ask ourselves, is a simple one. Just why do these "leaders" of ours want us to buy into this? Our little war, if we want to keep up the pretence here, should have been no more than a swift kick in the butt for some goofballs who finally got "lucky" and pulled off a hellish stunt against us. For twenty years this has been going on and finally they managed pull something off.

It wouldn't have happened at all if we had allowed those bozos to play in their own sandbox. I'm going to make this real clear so even the conservatives and liberals can understand it: we are at risk from our own government, in a very real way, and we are acting like a bunch of timorous old ladies because of a couple demented Third Worlders? Did Osama Bin Laden launch an attack "on freedom itself," as Mexican lobbyist Jorge Bush would have us believe? Not bloody likely! Bush is handling that, following lightly in the tracks of his unlamented predecessor while still passing as a conservative to his cheering followers. No folks, get it straight for once — Bin Laden attacked the World Trade Center — Bush and Co. are attacking freedom itself!

To you Northern folks I say — don't tell me you are free when you can't even purchase a firearm and your children are being indoctrinated in sexual perversity at taxpayer expense. To you Southern folks, I can only cry out in despair — stop fighting their damn wars! And to the Western folks who haven't yet been devastated by forest fires brought to you by Uncle Sam and his do-gooders, well, I don't think I have to say anything to you all…I suspect you are getting the picture better than most by now.

Something we better start considering is this: we had much less freedom at the end of the Cold War than we did at the beginning of it — how much more do we have to lose from this open-ended exercise in continuous warfare against the enemy de jour? Is it worth it? Shall we destroy freedom to preserve it? How is it that we never over reacted this way during any other of our many wars? Even Lincoln maintained at least the pretence of constitutional law.

Are the Arabs such an overpowering threat? Are we so spineless that we cannot refrain from destroying our own way of life merely to counter these brutal morons, so we pretend we are fighting some generic, hard-to-identify terrorists, and ruthlessly brutalize old ladies at the airports? I think we know the answers to all those questions.

Want to see the terrorist war end? Just ask your "representative" government to bring our troops home from the one hundred and six countries where they now reside and to defend our own borders as directed under the Constitution of the United States. That's all it takes. Do you want to stop living under the imagined threat of Saddam Hussein? That's an easy one. There is no such threat. If our nuclear deterrence kept Joe Stalin off our backs, don't you think Sadaam gets the picture? Do you honestly expect to see Iraqi marines wading ashore at Long Beach in the near future?

Worried about Israel? Another simple solution. Just stop meddling in Middle Eastern affairs. Israel has one of the best (and biggest) military forces in the world — let them take care of themselves. To you Christian brothers who somehow think God will abandon us if we follow such a policy, I can only say this: God runs the universe quite capably and has done it for a long time without any help from the US of A. He is quite capable of protecting Israel if that is His will. Who did you think kept Pluto in orbit yesterday?

The very real threat from Mexico is being quietly ignored. Every once and a while Congress or Jorge Bush will try to slip a mass amnesty for illegals past us, and so far we have shouted them down. They will get their way though. They are patient.

Meantime, everyone is supposedly terrified by threats of new terrorist outrages, sleeper cells, and suitcase nukes. Yet what small country wishes to be without them when the United States is running wild, bombing here, bombing there, fighting Al Queda in Afghanistan, helping them in Yugoslavia, generally acting like a super power on PCP. We are manufacturing enemies faster than we can bomb them out of existence.

If Americans have become so addicted to fear — then shouldn't we at least direct it at those who are actively harming us? You need look no further than Washington to get a real cold chill. Militarized police, promiscuity activists, the federal Department of Education, the baby killing Supreme Court and all the other destroyers are clustered right there, encouraging an out-of-control kleptocracy. Why don't we stop buying into their nonsense and start thinking for ourselves while we still can? We are really down to the wire now, we are running out of time. We face what really and truly is an assault on freedom itself!

Mr. Peirce [send him mail] fought with the Rhodesian freedom fighters (the Ian Smith side, of course).

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