Don'tgetmarried.com

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At
don’tgetmarried.com, we believe that many people are more naturally
suited to the single life and the idea should not been seen as strange,
or weird or unbalanced. We also believe that many people who choose
marriage do so for all the wrong reasons, and would be better off
investigating the rewards and challenges of the single life before
assuming that a marriage or a "relationship" will make
them happy. But most of all we are dedicated to encouraging, supporting
and restoring the ideal of the single life as the best way to reform
society, restore civilization and bring about widespread happiness.

We
do not believe living the single life is for everyone. Obviously
the species has to be reproduced. Most people are probably best
suited to having a family and raising kids. But we do believe that
being single has been unfairly and wrongly disparaged as something
strange, weird, even destructive of society.

We
are told that married people are happier and more successful. Superficially
this may be true. But most marriages end in divorce, most parents
do not know how to raise children, many families live under a crushing
burden of debt, taxation and worry. This may be because people have
never learned how to live alone and they think that living with
others can make them happy. If you have never learned how to be
happy while being alone with your own thoughts and feelings, then
living with others will not likely fill the void.

We
are not advocating divorce. We are suggesting that you consider
the path of the single life from the very start, for the right reasons,
and in an intelligent, disciplined way that is fulfilling to you
but will also transform society. And if you find yourself single
after having been married, we want to encourage you to consider
the option of staying single — how you can make it a fulfilling,
rewarding and positive way of living.

Our
basic premise is that society today is based on a fundamental flaw
that is leading to profound unhappiness. The flaw is the unstated
but omnipresent assumption that there is something wrong with being
alone, being by yourself, not being in a "relationship,"
not being economically productive enough, not being part of a group
or identified with a cause.

There
is broad dissatisfaction with what most people refer to as "modern
life." Some people call it the "rat race." Despite
widespread prosperity there are tangible signs that prosperity alone
has not worked. Conflict, wars, drug abuse, suicide all exist at
alarming rates. Meanwhile, there are the typical stories in the
media about the destructive "loner" who shoots up a school
or a post office or kills his parents. None of this makes any sense
when you stop to consider that for most of human history, the single
man or woman, the contemplative, the loner, has been held up as
the highest ideal.

At
times, popular mythology has supported this. The loner, the contemplative
or the adventurer, from Moby
Dick
‘s Ishmael to The Lone Ranger, is often held
up in literature and popular entertainment as a hero. More often
the loner or the contemplative is someone who is out of place, misunderstood,
manipulated by others, taken advantage of and abused. Saul Bellow
understood this problem and wrote about it artfully in More Die
of Heartbreak.

When
we look at classical heroes, many of them lived outside the conventions
of marriage and family and society. They were outsiders who upset
conventions, made people mad, and were even persecuted, simply because
they scorned being part of the mainstream.

Jesus
certainly comes to mind as the most influential single person in
history.

This
is not specifically a religious site. We welcome religious perspectives
but we would prefer to learn from your personal experience instead
of being told what we should believe. We are interested in whatever
simple truths you have learned by living the single life.

We
do not wish to romanticize the single life. We accept the fact that
it can be a burden. But we believe that for many people it can and
should be a better way of life. It may even be the ideal way of
life.

This
is not a site conducive to "free love" concepts. There
are plenty of those already. By living the single life, we assume
that means for the most part a life that is not complicated by sex.
And that may be the core of the problem. With the overpowering influence
of sex in the media, many people are led to feel bad about themselves
or feel guilty if they are not part of the sexual revolution. Perhaps
the greatest freedom is to be free from the pressure to have sex
or to perform sexually or to feel that without sex you cannot be
happy and fulfilled.

So
let’s hear from you. Pro and con. But please, no profanity or name
calling. We reserve the right to edit content or refuse submissions.

Let
the revolution begin!

Sincerely,
Your editor

August
3, 2001

Owen
Jones [send him mail]
is a freelance writer (which means he’s starving) and working on
his second political suspense novel. He’s not an expert on anything
and doesn’t want to become one although he’s read all of Eric Voegelin’s
stuff at least twice. To help start dontgetmarried.com you may contact
him at ojones70@hotmail.com.

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