Block Those Warriors

Can you imagine how chaotic our lives would be if we didn't have government watchdogs to regulate our behavior? It is for our own good that government agencies like the U.S. Civil Rights Commission (CRC) determine and enforce correct thought and correct speech. Without this agency a serious national problem might have been ignored. I'm referring to insensitive mascot names schools and universities use for their sports teams. A couple of recent news items prove that the CRC is courageously eliminating these hurtful nicknames.

A school board in the little town of Watkinsville, GA received a request from the CRC to change the nickname of its sports teams from "Warrior" to something less racist. Actually the recommendation was made to the school board's Cultural Awareness Task Force who agreed that the ethnic mascot name should be dropped because of the potential hurt it might cause certain groups.

Colgate University was persuaded to drop "Red" from its sports logo, "Red Raiders", because it may be "offensive to the general public in ways that undermine the institution's values and commitments." The nickname Red Raiders was originally coined in 1932 because of the maroon uniforms worn by that year's unbeaten football team. But from now on the team will simply be called "Raiders", unless that nickname proves to be injurious to some other group.

The CRC probably understands better than most of us the pain and anguish a Native American experiences upon seeing the nickname Red Raiders. However, because of the CRC's efforts, we are learning that pernicious mascot names are causing unimaginable harm to segments of our society and we should be grateful that this stellar agency is trying to get rid of them.

But America came so close to losing the CRC. Originally created in 1957 by President Eisenhower, the CRC was designated as a "temporary" agency authorized for two years. With a budgeted staff of six and an annual cost of $200,000, it was charged with examining the nations race relations and submitting recommendations. Unable to complete its task in two years the President granted an extension.

After a few more years the CRC completed its examination and submitted its findings. Its recommendations were the impetus for the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that created a multitude of new government departments and laws to monitor race relations in every facet of society.

A private organization would have terminated the agency once its mission had been accomplished. But the Federal government never disbands an agency or repeals a law. So the CRC is still around almost 50 years later because whenever its term has expired, the current President has always extended it for additional years. The signing of the extension legislation takes place at a formal televised ceremony with the President surrounded by Civil Rights celebrities; a glittering photo-op to show minority voters the extent of the government's concern.

But once its original mission was accomplished, the CRC had to search for new projects in order to stay busy. So over the years it has broadened its scope to include such problems as insensitive mascot names. Its staff has increased significantly and it has also created six regional offices. In addition, all 50 States and the District of Columbia have CRC Regional Advisory Committees. But the current annual cost of CRC functions is only a paltry 10 million dollars. Another example of how prudently the Federal government spends our taxes.

So, luckily, America has this outstanding agency to address the nation's vital problems. But, as much as we admire the CRC, it must do a better job of policing mascot names because schools and universities cannot be trusted to make correct decisions. Indeed some of their actions seem duplicitous as illustrated by the following case.

Stanford University yielded to CRC pressure by changing the name of its football team from "Indians" (an obvious racist slur against American Indians) to "Cardinals." Although Cardinal does refer to a beautiful red bird, whose brain is not sufficiently developed to grasp the meanness of this affront, the name also describes one of the highest orders of Roman Catholic priests, second only to the Pope. It is unconscionable for Stanford University to denigrate these clergymen by using their title as a nickname for its football team. After all the civil rights of clergy deserve the same protection as the civil rights of Indians!

I have a proposal to put an end to offensive mascot names that will also allow the CRC to drastically reduce the number of its school investigations. In order to formulate my plan I assumed the mindset of a government appointee and, bang, the solution popped into my mind.

I propose that the Federal government require advance approval for all school mascot names. A new government department should be created and, with assistance from sociologists, psychologists and anthropologists, it could develop a computer data bank of information to be scanned when a proposed nickname is submitted for approval. Thus, the department could determine if the name might cause offense, not only to any major cultural and religious classification, but also to categories that would normally be overlooked, such as ethnic groups in the Aleutian Islands or tribes in American Samoa.

By requiring advance approval the government can assure that no one on the American continent will ever again have to suffer because of football team nicknames. And this worthy goal will pacify any complaints about the enormous cost to taxpayers that such an undertaking will cause.

August 24, 2001