The Feminists Are Coming! The Feminists Are Coming! Oops, They're Gone

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That deranged gaggle of knee-jerking lesbos, the NOW gang, is coming. In fact, you missed u2018em, because they already came and went — to Philadelphia, that is.

On the weekend preceding the July 4th 2001 holiday, more dyke-bonding was underway in the shadow of the Liberty Bell, as Patricia Ireland and friends presented a Not For Ourselves Alone: A Leadership Skills Conference. Once again, these bubbleheads have got their armpit hairs in a tangle over the "anti-feminist" Bush administration.

The National Organization for Women conference was not about leadership at all, but actually focused on anti-Bush strategies. There were a couple of old-hat agendas for the gang, including workplace harassment and workplace discrimination. (Hey, isn’t it just the pretty, feminine, anti-feminist types that get "harassed" at work? I mean, guys don’t really hit on the typically hairy and surely-less-than-attractive NOW types, do they?)

More interesting were the workshops on NOW pet issues like saving social security, opposing the "evil" faith-based initiatives of Bush, and, now get this, "marriage and fatherhood incentives." Yep, that’s what I said, so don’t re-read that last sentence. What can be more evil than encouraging men to marry women, make babies after marriage, and become good fathers? Watch out viper women of the feminist left, for your communistic, anti-family tendencies are showing.

The glorious guest list of speakerdom at this cerebral feast included such giants as Dr. Jane Smith, Past-President of the National Council of Negro Women, Cheri Honkala, Director of Philadelphia’s Kensington Welfare Rights Union, and Linda Chavez-Thompson, AFL-CIO Executive Vice President. An intellectual showcase, indeed. Sorry you missed it?

Another honoree was Cheryl Haworth, that young, athletic, 300 lb. teenager who can clean-and-jerk my living room sofa, and then some. Miss Haworth, I agree, is a tremendously gifted weightlifting phenomenon, but the NOW gang gave her a Women of Courage award, not based on that, but because Miss Haworth, "in a culture where unnaturally thin super-models reign, challenges stereotypes and demonstrates that women of substance are winners."

In other words, the fem-gang celebrates women who are lacking feminine shape, fine looks, and other typical female attributes. The truth is, Miss Haworth is not the courageous sort that goes out and challenges stereotypes for the sake of exercising her courage; God gave her a certain physique that is not of the beauty sort, and she didn’t have much of a choice in that matter. It’s courageous to be a competitive athlete, as she is, but not to be a feminist poster gal for those who jealously shun the magnificent feminine physique.

Now, on to more NOW fun.

If you really want to get the chuckles, log on to NOW’s bulletin board at their website, also known as NOW Village. There, you are immediately drawn to some of the member ID names that these commie-chicks use. Two that caught my eye were BallBuster, and, my favorite, IDon’tShaveMyPitsorLegs!

Excuse me? Repeat that, please. IDon’tShaveMyPitsorLegs. OK.

News Bulletin: Bodily hair emanating from the female torso in lengths suitable for braiding and/or recycling as twist ties is not attractive, sexy, or otherwise proper human behavior. Women are wonderfully blessed with an aesthetic quality that makes us, typically, more attractive than the male species. This blessed state of nature is further hindered by unwanted male-like growths that are not privy to the benefits of the latest removal techniques.

Here we go again with that notion that to be pro-woman, you actually have to be anti-traditional woman. Shaving one’s pits and legs is a vote for a traditional trait, and therefore, anti-woman in the NOW sense. To these femmies, it takes courage to look like a man and live happily with yourself. In my book, it takes stupidity and laziness to shun traditional beauty and flair.

I wonder if Ms. Hairy Pits & Legs will get one of those Women of Courage awards?

Ok, in one last bit of exciting NOW news, we move on to Ms. Ireland, the past-president of NOW. I say past because she was tossed due to term limits, and they elected Kim Gandy to take over as the new president. Mrs. (uh huh, she is married) Gandy’s goal is "to recapture the forefront of radical feminist activism," which is another predictable attempt at sloganeering with no real value whatsoever.

The new leadership at NOW is hell bent on getting more dykes and friends in top political posts. A NOW news report states,

"President George W. Bush is appointing dramatically fewer women to executive branch political posts than Bill Clinton did early in his administration." Did they stop to tell us that President Bush is also molesting and copulating with 100% fewer interns and assorted political groupies than Bill Clinton?

Gandy also wants to focus on Bush Supreme Court appointments, meaning she wants her gang to be viable enough to influence Senate members to not appoint pro-life judges. One can view Mrs. Gandy as another I-Love-Abortion-president, so expect the same-old, same-old from this roguish bunch. They’ll all be stomping their hairy legs up-and-down until they convert the court system into a revolving door of government subsidized pay-to-kill orders.

In fact, let’s give all women who have abortions a Women of Courage award. After all, it takes NOW-like "courage" to kill.

Karen De Coster [send her mail] is a politically incorrect CPA, and an MA student in economics at Walsh College in Michigan.

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