It's time to come clean. I feel the need to rap to you. The first
Earth Day in 1970 was also my 18th birthday. Oh, the
ignominy! It is also Lenin's birthday, which might or might not
be a coincidence. Yes friends, it's true. I am a child of the 60's.
a child of the 60's, and if you know anything about my generation
you know that child is the operative word, I was a full bore (another
operative word, there) participant in the generational temper tantrum
that we called the counterculture. We were idealistic. We had demands.
We wanted to change things and in order to get what we wanted we
were willing to hold our collective (collectivist?) breath until
we turned blue. Actually it would be more accurate to say until
we turned Red but that would be splitting long hairs.
course, the things we wanted to change changed like we changed our
underwear. About every two weeks. We wanted Big Brother off our
backs. An end to the war in Vietnam. Racial equality. Free tuition.
No one was telling us what to do! So many causes, so little spare
funny thing happened on the way to the 21st Century.
It seems I moved to the far right. I know this to be true because
it is what my friends tell me. Especially my old friends. They have
not changed, you see. Their geezer views are still in line with
the progressive, liberal stance we all took back then. They say
during the 60's we were opposed to war. Or maybe we were opposed
to getting drafted. It's all a bit hazy, you know? Anyway, my high
school buddies and I would get on the subway on Saturday morning
and head to Greenwich Village where we would stuff war ending envelopes
or circulate peace bringing petitions for organizations with names
like the War Resisters League and the Catholic Peace Fellowship.
We were progressive.
old friends are still progressive. Pretty much to a man they supported
the Balkan bombing adventure because we had to save the people of
the Balkans from the people of the Balkans. Sound familiar? And
they support, in the most progressive way of course, the Iraqi sanctions
because Saddam is a cruel dictator. Unlike Uncle Ho, of course.
No cute nickname. But I have moved to the far right because I oppose
all our co-counterculturalists and most of America we were horrified
when the government, in the form of an ill prepared National Guard
unit, killed four people at Kent State. But my friends, who are
still liberal, hardly blinked at Waco and the eighty people killed
there by well trained federal police units. It barely registered
on their radar screens. But because I have become such a right winger
I took exception to that action. Just old right wing Ed defending
marched against senseless killing. We marched in Washington and
we marched up Fifth Avenue into Central Park, we marched on Northern
Boulevard in Queens and anywhere else we could because we believed
that the killing should stop. And we believed we had to say so publicly.
But when I joined the March For Life because I believe the 1.5 million
abortions we perform every year have to stop they thought it kind
of odd. It was taken for just one more sign of my having moved to
the far right.
still recall how deeply we were moved by Dr. King and his call that
we judge a man by the content of his character rather than the color
of his skin. The rightness of equal opportunity in a colorblind
society where each person succeeded or failed by virtue of his own
talent and initiative was a self evident truth. But today that fact
that I consider affirmative action to be racist is proof of my move
to the far right while their support of government enforced favoritism
based on skin color or gender or sexual orientation or some other
non-character content attribute is proof they have not changed.
Is it me?
Brother was a major demon to us in the 60's. We were very conscious
of the dangers of the Thought Police, which we were certain would
come from the conservative right. Wrong again. No one was going
to tell us what to think, what to do, what to say. What we did was
our own business and we were more than willing to be rude about
it in order to make the point. Discomfiting authority by speaking
truth to power was a major civic virtue in the 60's.
year, when the man from the Census Bureau came around my progressive
friends, who still believe in those 60's ideals they say so, dutifully
answered every long form question about family members, finances,
personal routines, and lifestyle. They are liberals, you see, and
the Census Bureau only wants to help us. But because I have moved
to the far right I told them to mind their own business and quit
longer being my old progressive, liberal self I look at the feminazis,
the enviro-socialists, the radical gay libbers, Jesse Jackson and
any number of other protected group spokespersons and see the Thought
Police come to life in 3D, surround sound and living color. And
not from the conservative right. Because I am a right wing extremist
I prefer the South to the North, want a minimal state instead of
the nanny state and think Al Gore looks and acts a lot more like
Big Brother than does Allan Keyes.
a member of the vast right wing conspiracy I say embarrassing things
like you should own a gun to protect yourself from the rabble because
the police won't and from the government because the government
can't be trusted. Or that the War on Drugs is a government welfare
boondoggle that destroys lives, wastes treasure and sucks liberty
from our society. My liberal friends, who have not changed –
they say so, do not like this kind of talk. It is embarrassing and
extreme. It is, oh the horror, non-inclusive.
I am the one who has changed and not them, they believe that most
of those politicians in DC really mean well at heart and are just
looking out for us as best they can. They think a few more gun control
laws sounds like a pretty good idea. Being true to their old individualistic
ideals they use inclusive language and tut-tut those of us who won't.
They believe they are free thinkers and I think that is the funniest
thing I have heard in a long time. They recycle their Evian bottles
(Evian spelled backwards is naïve. Coincidence?). They send
their kids to the government schools where they read about Daddy's
roommate, Heather's other Mommy, learn to put condoms on bananas
and are protected from the effects of second hand prayer. And they
think that's how it is supposed to be. They think sticking a fork
in a baby's head is a choice and that pro-lifers are a danger to
liberty. They call Al Sharpton a "leader" with a straight
they say they still believe in the 60's and that I have moved to
the far right. And I guess they might have something there because
I sure don't believe in the 60's. Haven't for a long time because
I have seen the results. Although it must be acknowledged that the
soundtrack was outstanding. But I will admit to this vague sense
of having gone through the looking glass, from left to right, without
moving an inch. And I keep wanting to ask them, how can you be in
two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? But that is
probably just because I have moved the far right. Right?
Cobb [send him mail] is
a printer in Virginia's Shenandoah Valley. He is a northerner by
birth, a southerner by choice, and a Catholic by the grace of God.