Reno for Governor?

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There are those headlines which cause one to question the evidence of one’s senses, whether they are read with one’s own eyes, or heard with one’s ears following a query such as "Hey, did you hear that…?"

In that regard, Janet Reno is reportedly mulling a run for governor of Florida. Sadly, there is no Cartesian evil demon making you think that you just read that sentence. You really read it (really).

As Generalissimo Reno told the Washington Post, "I’m considering it…I care passionately about this state. I was born and raised here."

God help the Floridians. This is apparently how Janet Reno "takes responsibility" for the 80 people, including more than 20 children, who died by her orders at Waco. This is apparently also how the Cuban immigrant population will be repaid by Reno after the Elian raid, in which Reno’s jackbooted thugs removed a young boy from his family at gunpoint (it’s not kidnapping if the government abducts children at gunpoint). Just as Reno gassed and killed the children at Waco for their own good, so too Elian needed a machine gun to the face to make sure his tender young psyche was not damaged by remaining too long on American soil, away from the loving attentions of Fidel Castro. (Predictably, the Post does not mention the Cubans or the Elian raid until the last three lines of the article).

Amazingly (at least to me), the Post adds that "Reno, who ran successfully three times for Miami-Dade County prosecutor, would be the front-runner for the Democratic nomination in what is likely to be a crowded field."

My first reaction is to ask "This is the best the Democrats can do?" Upon reflection, however, it may be par for the course for the Democratic Party, which Sam Francis has succinctly labeled "the Evil Party." (Note: Francis gets the Republicans right as well; he calls them "the Stupid Party." This name is oh so appropriate for a party best known for clumsily seizing defeat from the jaws of victory).

The Democrats (and enough gullible buffoons called "voters") gave us a lying pervert for president and a lying, collectivist, cattle futures trader for US Senator "from" New York, so maybe Reno fits the contemporary Democratic profile.

Reno may also fit the Democratic profile for Florida. The last Democratic governor of Florida, Lawton Chiles, was an elderly man who liked to wear flannel shirts. Reno is an elderly woman who likes to wear flannel shirts. So maybe Reno has the Lawton Chiles voters locked up already. Also, Reno has a proven track record of incineration. Since Florida has the death penalty by electric chair, her experience in frying accused criminals may play well with the voters.

But enough about "the past." As Bill Clinton often remarked, the past is not at all relevant to right now, when there are big problems to solve. What is Janet Reno’s campaign theme?

Er, well…standard collectivist shlock.

As the Post dutifully reports,

Reno listed several issues that she would stress in a campaign, including "ensuring a well-educated and productive generation in the years to come…the preservation of our natural resources so we could hand Florida down to the people who come after us.

She added: "I’d like to try to do everything I could, in terms of the two hemispheres, to make Florida a focal point in the Western hemisphere in trade and learning."

To be blunt, there is nothing Reno can do about any of the "issues" she mentions, apart from quitting all government attempts to do something about such issues.

Public schools fail precisely because they are public. Lacking the discipline of profit and loss, which drives failing businesses out of business, the public schools stay open despite failing to do their only job – teach children. The public schools, being public, are also controlled by politicians – state congressmen and local school board members. Because of this, public schools do what their political masters want, and not what parents want or children need. Want your kid to learn math? Forget it: sensitivity training and "sex education" (i.e., pervert propaganda) are the order of the day. Care about the moral environment where your child spends his days? Forget it: the public schools are cesspools of immorality and barbarism. Is Reno planning to put the Florida public schools up for sale, no strings attached? Of course not.

Next, with respect to natural resources, does Reno contend that Jeb Bush’s reelection would cause Florida to cease to exist? If not, her claim that she wants to "hand Florida down to the people who come after us" is mere hot air. What will happen to Florida otherwise? Of course, nothing cataclysmic.

Finally, Reno wants to "make Florida a focal point…in trade and learning." If Florida is to be a focal point in trade (which it appears to be already), it will not result from the acts of any politicians. If Florida is a focal point in trade, it results from private citizens, i.e. entrepreneurs, using their God-given liberty and talents to satisfy the wants of other private citizens through the marketplace. The same goes for learning, which is merely a subset of trade.

In short, Reno has the warm, fuzzy desire to give Florida a big hug, much like Miss America contestants want to bring about world peace. Just like those smiling beauties in swimsuits, Reno has about as much ability to achieve her goals – which is to say, exactly none.

Unlike any Miss America contestants of which I am aware, however, Reno has a disturbing history of burning people to death (she takes "full responsibility" for Waco) and forcing people to do her will at gunpoint (Elian).

Floridians, if they elect Janet Reno, will manifestly deserve what they get.

Mr. Dieteman [send him mail] is an attorney in Erie, Pennsylvania, and a PhD candidate in philosophy at The Catholic University of America.

© 2001 David Dieteman

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