Heal or Else!

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Recently, National Review Online ran an editorial
from a Kent Lassman. Mr. Lassman contends that president-elect
Bush would do well to emulate Abraham Lincoln in order “to heal
the wounds of a bitterly divided nation.”

Now, this got me thinking. What sort of Lincoln-like measures
could Dubya put in place to help “heal the wounds” of our nation?
I decided to list a few. I’ve taken some liberties here, in that
a couple of the items in question parallel something Lincoln’s
Republican successors put in place. But given all that Lincoln
had already done on the “wound healing” front, no doubt he would
have approved.

Anyway, Governor Bush, here are a few items I think would place
you solidly in the tradition of your GOP forefathers:

  • Suspend habeas corpus and jail prominent Gore supporters.
    If Jesse Jackson is rotting in a jail cell with no hope for
    a trial, how’s he going to keep up his ridiculous agitation?
    Lincoln managed to squirrel away about 20,000 trouble makers
    this way!
  • Shut down The NY Times, The Washington Post,
    and other papers that supported Gore. Lincoln shut over three
    hundred opposition papers. Hey, once those Dem mouthpieces are
    closed down, who is left to complain?
  • It would be a clever idea to threaten to arrest the Supreme
    Court justices who voted against you on December 12th. After
    Lincoln did this with Chief Justice Taney, he had far fewer
    problems with pesky judges.
  • Try blockading the ports of New York and Los Angeles. That will
    teach them the error of their voting ways, and help to reconcile
    them to lasting GOP rule.
  • Carve new states, more likely to vote Republican, out of states
    that went to Gore. Taking an example from Lincoln’s extra-Constitutional
    creation of West Virginia out of Virginia, Bush should immediately
    create the new states of North New York (be careful to leave
    out Buffalo!), West Washington, and Rural Pennsylvania. Six
    new GOP senators and a batch of guaranteed electoral votes for
  • Why not have Colin Powell undertake a little “march” through
    some Gore territory, with maybe a little burnin’ and lootin’
    along the way?
  • For the 2002 elections, taking a tip from the election of 1864,
    it would be a good idea to flood the polling places of states
    that might go Democratic with military personnel instructed
    to vote Republican. Since, of course, Dubya’s not running in
  • Once you’ve got the opposition on the run, how about amending
    the Constitution? Make it an act of treason to have publicly
    supported for Gore, and forbid anyone who did so from holding
    public office – see Amendment 14 for tips on how to write
    this up. That should thin the ranks of potential Democratic
    candidates for 2004!
  • In case any of the pro-Gore states are still acting
    up, military occupation should do the trick! After a dozen or
    so years, they should have healed sufficiently that you can
    pull the troops out.

Thanks to Myles Kantor’s “Getting
Right with Lincoln as a Libertarian
” and Charles Adams’s When
in the Course of Human Events
for information on some
of Lincoln’s “healing remedies.”

20, 2000

Callahan is a regular contributor to mises.org.

2000, Gene

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