Albert Gore Is My Name

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Wednesday
night in his concession speech, Al Gore said that he was going
Back to Tennessee to "mend fences, both figuratively and
literally." When we heard those words, an image began to
form in our minds, a tune to flutter at the fringes of our memories…
What was it, that melody we remembered oh so well? Ah, The Band!
– "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down." Suddenly,
we saw Gore transformed to a mythic figure, a Virgil Caine for
the modern age:

Albert
Gore is my name
I worked out a great campaign
Till Dubya’s lawyers came
And threw out my votes again
I was the winner I am quite certain
I know the true intent of those behind the curtain
December 12, the Supreme Court fell
That’s a night I remember oh so well

The
night they drove old Al Gore down
All the pundits were grieving
The night they drove old Al Gore down
Jesse Jackson’s still believing
They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

Back
with Tipper in Tennessee
When one day she calls to me
Albert, quick come see
There goes another Bushie
Now I don’t mind mendin’ fences
I’m not quite in my right senses
You can take the Midwest, even take Kentucky
But they never should have taken my state from me!

The
night they drove old Al Gore down
The Democrats were shouting
The night they drove old Al Gore down
Paul Begala couldn’t stop pouting
They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

Like
my father before me, I am a DC man,
Like my father above me, who took a rebel stand.
He was just 62, proud and brave,
When a GOP dog dug his political grave,
I swear by the chads down below my feet,
You can’t keep a Gore down even in defeat.

The
night they drove old Al Gore down
Despite David Boies’ fees
The night they drove old Al Gore down
Despite Paul Krugman’s pleas
They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

December
16, 2000

Gene
Callahan is a regular contributor to mises.org,
and Stu Morgenstern is contributing editor at The
Frumious Bandersnatch.

2000, Gene
Callahan
and Stu Morgenstern

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