Illiteracy and Infantilism in the Homeland

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As
a resident of Palm Beach County since elementary school, here are
my thoughts on the electoral hubbub here:

  1. It
    cannot be overemphasized that more than a quarter of a million
    Gore-supporters in Palm Beach County managed to decipher the
    demonized "Butterfly Ballot." (Alas, this disproves
    the theory that being a Democrat precludes rational thought.)
    As an admirer of Vladimir Nabokov, I take umbrage at this lepidopteran
    animus.
  2. Those
    who inadvertently voted for Pat Buchanan should have their suffrage
    suspended pending a literacy test. (Joke.)
  3. Jesse
    Jackson spoke in West Palm Beach against the Butterfly Ballot.
    Ipso facto, the Butterfly Ballot is legitimate. (Half-joking.)
  4. A
    pal of mine posited a correlation between the ballot-bunglers
    and the inability of many Palm Beach County motorists to distinguish
    a left lane from a right lane. My vehicular experience confirms
    this.
  5. The
    nineteen thousand who voted for both Gore and Buchanan might
    be sending a symbolic message: pro-abortion anti-interventionists?
  6. Who
    but babies kvetch for exemption from the expectations of citizenship?
    (To modify the lyric from Grease, "Literacy is the word.")
  7. Who
    but paternalists indulge such kvetching?
  8. Irving
    Howe wrote of the New Left's "politics of the kindergarten."
    Those in West Palm Beach chanting "Revote!" show countercultural
    puerility is alive and well.
  9. Robert
    Wexler should receive an Oscar for blathering.
  10. Gore
    campaign manager William Daley and attorney Kendall Coffey used
    the word "disenfranchised" to describe the cognitively
    impaired Palm Beach County voters. This is an insult to those
    who have truly felt the caste of disenfranchisement in American
    history. Let's keep in mind that we're dealing with a volitional
    error in the voting boothu2014the voting booth.
  11. Palm
    Beach County contains several excellent schools, libraries,
    bookstores, and a higher education system. You'd never guess
    it from this potentially pivotal idiocy.

November
11, 2000

Myles
Kantor lives in Boynton Beach, Florida.

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