Pestilential, Preposterous PETA

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Every
time I read news about those fun-loving people from PETA, the first
thing I think is "What's for dinner?" Perhaps a succulent
pot roast, cooked slowly in the oven with a dash of burgundy. Or
maybe grilled chicken marinated in lime. Lamb chops? Veal scaloppini?
Whatever the decision, meat is generally the main course around
our house, and we are brazen and unashamed and armed with a very
nice set of sharp knives with serrated blades.

A recent piece of news from everybody's favorite animal rights group
has me thinking also about trout, rolled in corn meal and pan fried.
PETA has recently been appalled by the shocking behavior of none
other than Rosie O'Donnell, who actually has the nerve to enjoy
sport fishing. Please keep in mind that Ms. O'Donnell uses the traditional
pole-line-and-hook to prey upon innocent aquatic life, rather than
the meaner method of standing on a river bank and trying to shoot
the fish out of the water with a .357 Magnum.

Rosie O'Donnell was recently involved in an accident to an arm while
fishing at her estate in the Florida Keys, which resulted in the
talk-show star and gun-control advocate's having to wear a cast.
As if this weren't enough, Ms. O'Donnell subsequently received a
letter from PETA leader Ingrid Newkirk, asking her to stop the madness.

"Please
do not think, as I once so naively did, that fish do not feel pain.
They do. I hope lots of beautiful, feeling animals will be spared
from any more Rosie rodeos," Ms. Newkirk wrote.

In a brilliant riposte, O'Donnell spokesperson Lois Smith rejoined,
"Rosie doesn't keep the fish she catches. She throws them back
in the safest manner."

This produces a vivid mental picture, doesn't it? I can just imagine
Rosie tenderly un-hooking a little fish and placing it gently back
in the water (as opposed to just hurling it over the side of the
rowboat, which would surely be unfeeling) so that it could swim
away, blubbering about the big hole that barbed hook had just pierced
through its clammy lip. Anything to save a fish from a painful belly-flop,
though, right Ms. Smith?

If PETA had a response to Lois Smith's blunder, it hasn't been recorded – probably
because they were all busy with their new advertising campaign which
surprisingly features none other than New York City's outspoken
mayor, Rudy Giuliani.

Now, now, don't get all upset. Mayor Giuliani is not in league with
PETA, but it is true that they are using his image in a spoof of
the National Dairy Council's successful "Got Milk?" campaign.
The mayor is pictured with a milk mustache, and the caption of the
PETA ad reads "Got Prostate Cancer?"

The campaign is being used to promote PETA's idea that the consumption
of dairy products leads to illness. These advertisements are appearing
on billboards in Wisconsin, long hailed as "America's Dairyland."

It's amazing that the same group that could get so worked up about
fish suffering pain could be so cavalier about inflicting pain on
people, but the friendly souls at PETA aren't spurred to much compassion
for People, the Monsters of the Universe. Not only do they have
no cow's milk (it's mean to exploit cows for the needs of humans)
they also have no milk of human kindness. And not much logical thought,
either.

As PETA relentlessly pursues their basic hatred for mankind in general,
they set themselves up as holy warriors in a cause that is surely
as righteous as the cause of Christ Himself. Unfortunately, they
have missed several key points of Scripture, and that fact succeeds
only in making them look more frantically whacked out than ever.

For instance, PETA has been hard at work with ad campaigns other
than the one featuring Rudy Giuliani. Also featured on billboards,
these public awareness raising designs can be seen in both the United
States and Canada. The Canadian ads display "…an image of
God holding vegetables in each hand and reminding followers, "I
said, u2018Thou Shalt Not Kill.' Go Vegetarian," according to PETA's
website. "PETA hopes that the billboard, part of a larger campaign
based on biblical teachings of love and compassion for all beings,
will encourage people to exemplify God's word by rededicating themselves
to the Sixth Commandment and going vegetarian."

It's just enough to make you want to soothe your indignant feelings
by going out for a big, juicy steak, isn't it?

First of all, PETA has the wording for the Sixth Commandment all
wrong: The actual words of Deuteronomy 5:17 read "You shall
not murder." And just in case ardent PETA activists want to
protest that killing innocent animals is murder, Deuteronomy 12:21
reads, "…you may slaughter animals from the herds and flocks
the LORD has given you…and in your own towns you may eat as much
of them as you want. Eat them as you would gazelle or deer."

God obviously has some different ideas about animals than the people
of PETA, but anybody who had bothered to read only as far as the
first few chapters of the book of Genesis could have realized that.
While in the Garden of Eden, God placed Adam above all the animals
and allowed him to give them their names; in Genesis 3:21, after
the Fall, we find that God "made garments of skin for Adam
and his wife."

Those skins came from the first sacrifice ever made to "cover"
humans, and they came from animals. Those animals were killed – not
murdered – in order to give the first sinful people a physical covering,
since it was probably obvious to everyone that the whole fig leaf
idea was just not going to be practical in the long run. But this
clothing made of skin was also symbolic: God used this first sacrifice
to set the stage for the eventual death of His own Son, the One
who was called "The Lamb of God" and covered the sins
of the world.

But you'd hardly expect the people of PETA to discern this, especially
since they are so busily trying to hoodwink the gullible into thinking
that God instructs us in the Bible to love our neighbors and our
cows and our chickens and our fish and our seals and our chinchillas
and our dolphins as we love ourselves, and it simply isn't so. Nowhere
in the Bible does God give the same precedence to animals as He
does to human beings and anybody who says that He does is just lying,
to be frank.

And anyway, if PETA people are so caught up in having "love
and compassion for all beings," then I would really like to
know why they're willing to exploit Rudy Giuliani's frightening
bout with cancer with their advertising campaign. Doesn't the mayor
have as much of a capacity for pain as those fish that Rosie O'Donnell
so safely releases back into their natural habitat?

No, say the people of PETA. To them, animals are the most righteous
creatures and mankind is the spoiler, the eater, the ravager, the
wearer of skins.

They're dead wrong, except about the eating and the wearing. And
the only other thing I can add to that blunt statement is: "Got
Worcestershire?"

August
31, 2000

Shelley
McKinney is a political writer whose work regularly appears in several
Internet journals. She takes great pleasure in exposing the politically
correct for their lack of logical thought.

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