According to US News, campaigning for the Senate in
New York has left first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton stressed
out. Frankly, it doesn’t do much for our digestive tract either.
The report also states that nonstop fund-raising has put Mrs.
Clinton in a "foul mood…she feels that New York contributors
are too demanding." Just give her the $100,000, people.
You get Hillary. It’s SO tacky to want anything more.
British researchers have discovered that "children confuse
the prime minister, God and religious leaders." According
to one Natasha, aged seven, for instance, Prime Minister Tony
Blair "has got grey long hair, curly with a grey beard,
a grey-like dressy thing and he does miracles." In this
country, only the media, Hollywood actors, academics and intellectuals
would believe such nonsense about President Clinton. Children
aren’t so foolish, save perhaps for an occasional White House
This week’s new health hazard is the underwired brassiere,
at least if you’re wearing one while seeking shelter under a
tree from a thunderstorm. Two women so attired were killed by
lightning in London’s Hyde Park. Obviously, ladies confronted
with threatening weather should either go inside or remove their
brassieres at once.
In Politics’ Wan World Of Predictable Suits and Speeches,
Why Pick On Al Gore?" asks Robin Givhan, Washington
Post staff writer. Why, indeed. Let his boughs continue
to shelter the saplings and small creatures of the forest without
all the bad jokes.
Thanks to the Wall Street Journal for passing along
this sample from a HUD document titled "Resident Rights
and Reponsibilities" written in what bureaucrats fondly
imagined to be "Creole" and paid for by yuh lawn-suffren
Merkin taxpayuh: "Yuh as a rezedent, ave di rights ahn
di rispansibilities to elp mek you HUD-asisted owzing ah behta
owme fi yuh ahn yuh fambily. Dis is a brochure distributed to
yuh cawze Hud ah provide some fawm ahf asistance aur subsidy
fi di whole apawtment buildin. As ah pawt ahfits dedication
fi maintain di bes pawsible living environment fi all rezedents,
yuh HUD field affice encourage ahn suppowts…" ahn lahk
dat, ahn mon, kenya beleef dees federal garbotch.
Happy 24th Anniversary to the Clintons. "Call me a romantic,"
says David Letterman, but I think it’s great that after 24 years,
they can still fake a relationship."
Bernard Lewinsky, Monica’s dad, is bummed about a TV character
using the phrase "getting a Lewinsky" to describe
oral sex. Why, he asks, don’t they call it "getting a Clinton"?
Bernie, it’s because a "Clinton" is what the rest
of us have been getting since 1993, and with you saying "good
President Clinton went out for a remarkable round of golf
late Sunday afternoon. It was a sudden decision, giving neither
the media nor his Secret Service more than a few minutes warning.
He played in rain and kept on when it was pitch black, determined,
he said, to get in 18 holes. He ignored the rules, sprayed golf
balls all over the course, lied about his scores, kept everyone
in the dark and made a nuisance of himself. Come to think of
it, for Bill Clinton, that’s not remarkable at all.
Timothy J. Wheeler, long a prominent figure
in the conservative movement, writes from Indiana.