Declare Victory and Get Out

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Declare Victory and Get Out

by James Ostrowski by James Ostrowski


Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States:

My fellow Americans. I am announcing today the immediate withdrawal of American troops from Iraq. They will be leaving as soon as logistically possible.

All missions have been accomplished.

We invaded because we believed Saddam had WMDs. Saddam was deposed and was arrested for war crimes. No WMDs of the type we expected to find were found.

We facilitated democratic elections and those officials are now in charge.

We can do no more.

Iraq is now in your hands.

If the various ethnic/religious groups cannot get along in the same state, I advise you to consider creating three separate republics as James Ostrowski advised several years ago.

You can still do business with each other and form alliances and trade with each other. Political independence precludes none of those things.

Our exit from Iraq proves that our intentions were honorable and that we had and have no imperial designs on Iraq or its valuable natural resources.

Good luck and assalam alaikum.

[Exit omnes.]

November 27, 2006

James Ostrowski is an attorney in Buffalo, New York and author of Political Class Dismissed: Essays Against Politics, Including "What’s Wrong With Buffalo." See his website.

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